I've started so I'll finish

I finally remembered my password for my earlier blog. But s*d it, I can not be a*****d to update it now having started this one. I use passwords not easily remembered and they make no sense either to me or would be hackers so it was a Damascus moment that it (the password you dummy) came to me. So, unless you are called St John and are deeply religious and are walking along a desert road trying to guess any of my passwords will take slightly more than a miracle and as I am not religious miracles are not allowed.

Mind you, as I am paranoid about computer security (it is part of my job) hoist and petard come to mind. So, those of you using complex passwords such as secret, confidential, letmein, myname, 123456 etc. can smile indulgently knowing they will never forget their password. Neither will I, so be careful out there: I'm watching you.

No knickers

Delayed again. New flight, not yet booked, will be on Sunday 2nd August. I am getting the distinct impression they don't want me out there. No sign of visa and BA have invented a special slot called MT as the seat has been changed so often they have designed a new database just to keep track of the constant changes. In the meantime I have run out of knickers and my socks are beginning to smell as I have everything else in the suitcase locked and ready to go and I can't find the key. My spare swiss army knife (I always carry 2 in case I lose one) may yet prove useful to cut into the case to release the unmentionables. Does anyone know where I can buy paper underthings?

Dr Who

The travelling gods have a vendetta against me. Latest is that I've been rescheduled for the 28th July.  As I'm due back to the UK on the 20 December, which is not negotiable, if this goes on much longer I shall be returning before I leave. I'm considering putting in an application to be the real Dr Who!

Documents

The travelling gods are against me. No visa, thus no passport as yet. There is a postal strike this weekend so the chances of it arriving before Monday are slim. There is a half hour slot on Monday between the post arriving and me having to leave for the airport but history says 'no chance'. Am I concerned, no. Asian time culture is well inside my experience having once waited 14 hours for a Tristar (my favourite plane until they started to fall out of the sky too regularly) that had been requisitioned by a local Prince to go to a Polo match. Despite the unreliability of 'in country' airlines that particular record delay is still standing after 30 years. I do not count cancelled or crashed flights as a delay.

Flying pigs

Not a happy week. With just a week to go before I depart for India the b****** car has blown up on me. After days of messing around with dealers, breakdown trucks and such like I decided to dump the thing as the repair costs for a black box were almost as much as the worth of the car itself. Bought a fairly decent Saxo (i.e. it is has 4 wheels in roughly the correct position) as a short term replacement and next year after we have returned from our Global wanderings it can be traded in for a new mobile box of aggravation.

All the final medical stuff is complete and I have to be the planets most certified healthy person(after x-rays, jumping up and down stuff, a few dozen needles stuck into various bits of me and unspeakable other painful goings on). My eticket is printed out and my passport is hopefully getting a visa stamped into it. Subject to not contracting pig flu, asian flu, bird flu or any other flu that happens to be knocking around I leave on the 20th July. However, looking back at the possible flu variants I wonder whether that is the origin of the term flying pigs (think about it).

A volunteer already in place in Koraput tells me it is the monsoon at the moment and suggests I bring some wellies with me otherwise there is a chance of catching fish flu. Given the ability of the virus to mutate I'm half inclined to believe him.

Food allergy

My eldest daughter has just phoned to invite us out for an Indian meal. With the next few months promising nothing but curry it took ages to say OK, thanks. Yeh, I know ungrateful b****** but that's life.

Beta release (work it out!)

This is the start of something new. I'm off to India in a few days and returning (subject to Malaria and other pleasurable experiences) to the UK in time for Christmas. Took weeks to find out what the place is all about and eventually got some real info today. That prompted me to start this new blog as I have forgotten the password for my earlier blog so that can not be updated. For all the I.T weirdos out there yeh, I know about passwords etc. But when did you last speak to a plumber that had yet to fix his own leaks or a car mechanic whose own car was not always breaking down. Physician heal thy self I hear you say. Knickers to you is my response.

To continue. I had already committed to India without knowing about any potential horrors but I had reckoned that any rabid dog that was daft enough to take a chunk out of me deserved its day in the limelight before going to the great dog kennel in the sky. It seems there are no horrors awaiting me, they even speak English, (confirmed by the people I am going to) which is a great relief as earlier readers will know my language ability on a scale of 1 to 10 is about minus 100. And that is on a good day when the sun is shining and I've had a few beers. However, I have been informed that lunch is always curry and vegetables, every day. It took me 2 years to over come my hatred of chicken after I returned from working in the Middle East where chicken was the only item on the menu for over 2 years, I have a current dislike of Nasi Gureng (Indonesian fried rice) for much the same reason so I suspect curry is about to disappear from the my UK menu.

Packing gets easier. Shove everything into a Sainsburys (or Tesco) carrier and you are off. Did think about going to London and getting a Harrods carrier to display rampant consumerism but decided the thicker plastic would add to the baggage weight so didn't.

Do need to get my very expensive laptop backpack repaired as one of the straps is fraying and whilst I don't object to wearing the same cloths (I know the 'e' is missing for those with decent eyesight, but clothes seems a bit over the top to describe my rags) for weeks or months on end to save the aggro of washing but I do have a problem if my laptop goes AWOL on me.

You can tell my background. Might have a flash car outside and the very latest telly and hi-hi but furniture, whats that?

On that cheerful and insightful note, welcome to my blog.